Today I...

5:30am Wake up to a crying Benson. He doesn't normally wake up this early. I think he's teething. Stumble out of bed, grab him, nurse him in my bed and desperately try to catch a few more minutes of sleep until the others wake up.

7:00am officially start the morning routine. Lately this includes me hiding in the bathroom with the ipad for a few minutes first thing. That way I can check facebook etc without the kids seeing me on a screen all the time, and I get to delay the inevitable. Groceries are low...luckily there is still some pancake mix. Whip those up. The kids each get 1 chocolate chip one and they are delighted. Help brush teeth, hair, change clothes, tidy up bedrooms, etc. The kids spend some time reading, thanks to the awesome summer bingo chart I came up with. Score!!

9:00am Send the kids out to take care of the bunnies. Benson comes to the garden with me and lays on a blanket while I let the chickens out. We're trying to have them graze in a specific area, and they're being stubborn this morning so I become increasingly angry until I've wrangled all the chickens to where they need to be. I even weed a few rows in between. The garden is still in the shade and my back hasn't been hurting as much since my first trip to the chiropractor last week. All-in-all, a nice bit to my morning.

10:00am Lay Benson down for his first nap. The last few weeks with this kid have been a little tough. He's been switching up his nap schedule and I'm just winging it really. Although I think I finally have it figured out. He loves playing peek-a-boo with the blanket when I lay him down. He thinks it's hilarious! Kids turn on a learning show, and I go get ready. About 20 minutes later, Gwen comes in the bathroom and asks if Aimsley can come over to play (we got new neighbors! Yay!) I say sure, and when I come out of the bathroom there are 3 more kids in the house!

11:30am The kids have all been playing really well together, so we forego our trip to the library. Instead, Colston and Miles are playing "tennis" in the front yard, which turned into a sword/gun fight...obviously. Gwen,Lindy and the 2 neighbor girls did makeovers first and are now quite involved with a game of "house", which included fake names, 1 pretend birthday, 1 pretend wedding, and 1 real hit.

12:00pm Kick the neighbor kids out so we can run a few errands. We drop off a bunch of plastic bags to recycle, then go to another recycling place to drop off a box full of glass, then to Grandma Garner's house to cut some rhubarb I need for some pies.

2:00pm FINALLY have lunch! Whew! Miles and Gwen decide to have quiet time in the backyard. I try to get Lindy to lay down in Mom and Dad's bed. I set Benson in front of a baby Einstein episode. He's watched enough of them now that when that caterpillar comes on the screen he gets really excited. :) I sneak up to the computer to finish my lunch and check facebook. I think I might be able to watch part of something on Netflix, but...of course that's just me dreaming. Instead, Lindy comes out twice. 1 of the times I realize she's found the expensive, organic baby bug spray and dumped it all over the carpet in the living room. I probably got a little too mad at her for that.

3:00pm Put Benson down for 2nd nap. Luckily he takes it! I think I may just get 5 uninterrupted minutes to myself! What a joke, right? Instead Lindy keeps coming out, so I give up and let her play outside. But it's like a law of nature or something that if kids are outside, they will try and come inside as much as possible, just to keep that door opening and shutting. Sometimes opening and not shutting...And at some point, the 2 neighbor girls made their way over here again...So there are 5 kids, and 2 doors (1 front and 1 back)....so that means the doors open and shut...hmmm let me check my calculations here... 1 million times. I can feel the hot lava of anger rising, and seething right below the surface...but I'm trying to keep it in check until....

4:25pm I realize Richie's not home yet and I have a follow up chiropractor's visit at 430! Yikes! I've already rescheduled this one. I can't miss it! Richie makes it home by 4:30, and we barely exchange glances as I rush past him (tag, you're it!) and get in the van.

5:30pm Come home, nurse Benson again and have to send the neighbor kids away again. Miles hits another one of those growing up milestones and says, "How come all of my friends have Pokemon cards, and I don't have any???" As if we've been torturing him his entire 8 years by withholding them. "I had no idea you liked Pokemon cards bud." I say. And we chat some more about that illusion that will inevitably pop up over and over again in his life, that everyone else has something he doesn't. Doh! I realize that I'm hungry and I'm the one that has to make dinner! I swear, when I'm a millionaire, I'm hiring a cook. I rush to scramble some eggs and toast some bread. My go-to quick meal these days. I also chop up 10 stalks of rhubarb at lightning speed, thinking maybe I can get the pies in the oven before heading to pack meeting.

6:45pm Missed getting the pies in the oven. Neighbor kids try to come over again, but I have to reject them. Head to pack meeting and bring one of our rabbits for an animal show and tell. Get home by 8. First on the checklist is getting an inconsolable Lindy, a band-aid for a scrape she got playing tag at the church. Richie works with Benson, trying to convince him it's time to sleep...but to no avail. So that means after I help get all the kids in bed, (meaning: nag Gwen over and over again to get going cause she's always super slow at getting ready for bed, half-heartedly read scriptures with the kids, sing the shortest primary song I know- cause I'm done) I take Benson and feed him prematurely, just hoping that it will get him to sleep.

8:30pm I am a woman on a mission. I want to give my Dad a rhubarb pie for Father's day. (His Mom's recipe, one of his favs) And someone I know is willing to drop it off to him tomorrow at Cove Fort. I told her I'd get her my Dad's pie, and a pie for her to say thanks, to her house by 8. Yep, haven't even put them in the oven yet. Within 5 minutes, Lindy and Gwen have come out multiple times, and I feel like my brain cells are exploding. Saying, "I'm going crazy!" in no longer a euphemism for "It's been a long day", I feel like it's a very literal representation of how I feel most days. I burst and say (with gusto), "I can't do this!!" and Richie calmly asks, "Can't do what?" Under my breath, I confess..."Motherhood", and I keep rolling out the pie crusts as if they're being punished.

9:30pm Sometime within the last hour, 1. Lindy and Gwen have officially broken the world record for "coming out of your room after being put in bed!" 2. I deliver the really beautiful, scrumptious smelling pies to my friend. Then I'm sad when I come back home and the house smells like pie...and there is none for me to eat. 3. Feed Bensons AGAIN because I don't know why he's not sleeping, and that's all my brain will tell me to do.

10:30 pm, Richie and I actually talk for a little bit. We actually watch part of a show. But that's enough time together for one day, let's not go crazy (ha!) so he heads to bed, so he can be up by 430 tomorrow morning. We talk about the woes of money (a recurring theme) and mourn the loss that is our bank account this week. The truck needed another $1,200 to pass safety and emissions. There goes our hopes of putting sod on the west side of the backyard, eh?

1:06 am Somehow the last 3 hours disappeared. I can't recall the order of things, but I do know that Gwen wet the bed again. Here's another parental law: You can wait for years to change the sheets on a top bunk bed if you really wanted. But mark my words, the night you decide to put new sheets on the bed...your kid will pee in them. She's been really struggling with that lately. Just when I think we're over that hump, it's like she's decided to mark her territory all over the house. I'm not kidding! Within the last month, I've cleaned sheets from her bed, and Lindy's, their room's floor, our room's floor, the hallway's floor, and the couch! Within the last 3 hours, I've also cuddled a startled Lindy, Got Gwen re-setlled AGAIN because she nearly peed AGAIN on our floor in our room, and walked the living room "track" with Benson again trying in vain to help him sleep. I finally gave in and gave him some tylenol because I think I can see a tooth making it's way down. It seemed to help because now he's sleeping. Although, by typing that I've probably jinxed it. And no, I still haven't ordered groceries...which was my main goal for tonight after I got the pies done. Looks like I'll be playing, "Chopped" in our kitchen again tomorrow. "Hmmm...we've got an onion, some mustard, a brownie mix and the baking soda in the back of the fridge....Breakfast needs to me made in 20 minutes...your time starts now"

Super honesty time here... At some point while I was walking with Benson, I was sobbing. Life must really stink when you make dumb choices. Because here I am, thinking I've made some pretty good ones...and it's still ridiculously hard! Despite how blessed I am! This post may be a bit of a downer...but some days are just like that. I am imagining in 20 years, my kids/kids-in-law will be reading this blog book, come to this post, and maybe breathe a sigh of relief. I hope that they mostly erase from their memory any of my less than stellar moments. (Like I did with my mom! I literally, do not remember her yelling at me once!) And I hope they mostly remember the good stuff. However, I don't want them to take it as, "Wow, Mom was perfect. Life must have been easier for Mom and Dad back then. etc etc" Maybe they will be a tired young parent, and come to this post and think, "Ok, Mom and Dad made it through ok. I will too!" Julie B. Beck said, "Families mean work. But they are our great work. And we are not afraid of work." I love that quote. I am not afraid of work...but I might drag my feet a little tomorrow...