Gwen turns five!

You know how parents usually say, "I can't believe they are 5 already!" when their kid turns 5? Well, in this rare case, I'm going to say, "I can't believe Gwen is ONLY 5!" She has always seemed more grown up to me. More capable than others her same age, has more attitude (sometimes) than other kids her same age, so smart it's silly, and so understanding and aware of her circumstances. I love this girl so much. She is, most of the time, so happy. And I'm so happy she's ours.


I feel like her birthday was celebrated all month long. The Sunday before her birthday, we celebrated Lindy, Grandma Garner and Gwen, with a tri-birthday dinner. My favorite part was that Miles has been working on Gwen's gift the entire month. He used all of his own money to buy her a movie (from Savers), a book (from the library), and a new outfit (from Wal-Mart). She was so thrilled, and he was so proud.

On her actual birthday, we were lucky that Grandma Crosby was in town and got to have pancakes and nutella with us that morning! We made peanut butter brownies to share with our friends at homeschool that day. Then later in the afternoon, Uncle Jacob picked Gwen up for a date. :) Gwen was feeling jipped that Miles got to do something special with Uncle Jacob for his birthday, so he promised her her very own date. He took her down to the puppy farm to look at lots of adorable puppies, and then to get "pizza AAAAND soda!" (in her words). She felt super special.


On the Saturday after her birthday, she had her first official friend birthday party. Her only requirements was that it be fancy. When her fancy guests arrived, they got to pick out a feather boa, a necklace, lip gloss, nail polish, fan, and headband. Then they spent some time making pens with plumes, and bonnets. Then we had a fancy lunch and painted nails. We opened a few presents and then had cake and ice cream parfaits. We were going to have a little fashion show, but ran out of time. I loved how every time I glanced at the dining table, it just seemed enveloped in a pink cloud. We were lucky enough to have Taysom here to enjoy the festivities and help. Also Aunt Makenna came early and helped Gwen get her hair all fancified and set up the party.


I don't think there's any way Gwen could NOT have felt special. She had so many people reach out and love her. She deserves every bit of it. She is one fantastic human being.

First Half of March

School Stuff. Lindy and the rainbow rice, and making our sight words out of play-doh and legos. :)


There is this bit of earth under the overhang of house in our backyard. The bunnies love digging it up. Gwen decided that it was her special nook/clubhouse and she would climb under the house and play around in the dirt. It only lasted about once or twice, and a few baths later, before we covered that area again with stone.


I painted some windows again. :) It was a fun job.


Miles is on a tooth losing spree. So far his count it up to four. :) He's now missing his two bottom front teeth and his two front top teeth.


Our newest kit got to that super cute stage and the kids were in heaven. We have since sold off all seven, but during those few weeks those bunnies has LOTS of attention, both from our kids and lots of visitors.


Our kids used to climb in bed with us whenever they had a bad dream. However, it always ended up making us mad. So we came up with a new plan. If they have a bad dream, they are welcome to bring their pillow in, we'll provide a blanket, and they can sleep on the floor. It's worked brilliantly. :)



Miles and Gwen were both invited to a Star Wars party and had so much fun. :) The kids and Dad watch Star Wars "Clone Wars" every Saturday while eating waffles, so a Star Wars party is right up their alley.


We had a joint family birthday party for Lindy, Christy, and Gwen, since all of their birthdays are in the same month. It was fun to celebrate 3 amazing ladies. :)

Lindy turns 2!!!

My baby is two! She is so much fun. She understood, at least a little, what was going on and I think she felt very special. She woke up to balloons on the floor in her room. When I went in to get her, I put them in her crib and she thought it was the best thing ever.


That morning she had her pancake in the shape of a 2 and we sang and did candles and everything.


We took a treat to homeschool group that day and Miles insisted that we sing to her there too. So she got another practice round blowing out the candles. She kept running around telling everyone "Two!! Two!" and holding up an entire hand.

Our fridge was bare, so I decided that we would go get Lindy's favorite food for dinner, "Peee-Ah!" She loves her pizza, so much in fact, that every time we drive past Little Caesars she shouts "Peee-Ah!" She was so excited. Then Richie came home early with donuts, real milk and announced that he passed his test! It's the last one before his capstone class, so he wanted to celebrate a little. Mind you, pizza is a "sometimes" food at our house. Donuts and real milk have hardly ever entered the front door. As we were indulging and anticipating our next-day stomach aches, we commented on how lucky we were that his (Vegan) parents couldn't see what we were eating! Then who should knock at the front door with a healthy birthday treat for Lindy but Grandma and Grandpa Garner. I made them promise not to disown me before they entered. ;)

We finished eating and then Miles and Gwen presented Lindy with some unique birthday presents. During quiet time, they had wrapped some of their toys that they knew Lindy liked, to give to her. Included was the favorite "Pop the Pig" game Miles got for his birthday, a Curious George board book, and Gwen's Halloween wig and a dress up dress. Lindy was SO excited. It made me glad that the only presents we plan on giving her are ones we already had in the closet. :) She was so happy unwrapping stuff she already plays with. And although it was hilarious that the kids just wrapped their old stuff to give her, they genuinely thought about what Lindy would like the most and picked things they knew she loved. They wrote her sweet and thoughtful notes, and all of this without any prompting from me. It made me laugh really hard, and made me so happy.


Lindy went to bed feeling very loved. Richie tucked her in, but a few minutes later she was crying for "mama". I was on my way out the door, but decided that she needed some birthday cuddles. We sang "Edelweiss" and I told her how much I love her, finding it hard to believe that she is already two. The next morning I was cuddling her and said, "Did you turn two yesterday?" And she nodded, smiled and whispered, "Peee-ah!"

We are having a tri-birthday party this Sunday for Lindy, Grandma Garner, and Gwen, so there will be more bday celebrations to blog about later.

A few Lindy favorites these days include:
*The ways she says O.K. "Oh Tay" She uses that response a lot and it never gets old.

*She still had a tendency to beat up, especially on Miles and Gwen. Today, she hit one of them and I said, "Uh-Oh, did you hit ____?" She nodded and said, "Tie-Ow!!!" And walked herself to time out. I always tell her she has to stay there for one minute, but almost as soon as she's in the corner, she's already saying "Saw-eee"

*She's getting better at being soft. Sometimes if she's sitting on your lap, she'll just reach her hand up and stroke your face for a minute. She'll randomly ask for kisses and hugs. Her hugs are bear hugs!

*Her attention span is super short, which is sometimes really good and sometimes really inconvenient. It's hard to keep her busy while the kids work on school. It's also great for when she gets angry and frustrated, because you can distract and redirect her really easily.

*She loves watching shows, being outside, and doing whatever her siblings are doing. She dislikes being left behind and doesn't get to go somewhere others are going, doesn't like it when she has an accident (she cries and cries and tells me it's yucky), and dislikes it when she can't have something that she thinks belongs to her. (She's got a really good scream will use it)

We love you SO much Lindy June. You make us laugh every single day.

Here Comes Baby #4!

We are very excited that baby Garner #4 is on it's way. We were slightly nervous that I might have more trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant like we did between Gwen and Lindy, but I guess it was time for this baby to come. Richie is always the one who is ready before me. Ready for anything before me really, but especially babies. It takes me a long time to think it through and decide that my body and my emotional health is ready for this again. :) Eventually Heavenly Father helped me see that it was time to try and we left it in His hands.
I found out right before Christmas. It was the day of our nephew's birthday party and I thought, hmmm maybe we should just tell everyone here now. Especially since Ross and Amanda are in town. And then Ross and Amanda announced that they too are expecting!! We are so excited for them. We decided to keep our mouths shut for a while. However when we went down to SG during the Christmas break, almost all of the Crosby adults were there and we figured it couldn't hurt to tell them. Over the next few weeks I told one or two individuals, but it was still mostly a secret. We weren't ready to tell our kids yet, because if we told the kids, the secret would be out. It's not too hard to tell your immediate family that you had a miscarraige, but to tell everyone is difficult. So we waited. Eventually we told The Garner family at the end of January. Not too long after that, I had a stranger ask me when I was due. So even though I thought I was hiding it well....others said differently, and we let the cart out of the bag.




FAQs

*How far along are you?
As of this post today, I'm 15 1/2 weeks along. That puts my due date right about August 28th. I've only ever had winter and spring babies, so I'm a little nervous to be super pregnant in the summer.

*How have you been feeling?
Generally pretty good. The first trimester was typical for me. Not really any throwing up, but generally feeling gross and nauseated most of the time. Also extreme tiredness. Waking up from 12 hours of sleep and still needing more. Wanting to go to bed at 8 with the kids. That type of tired. I was on survival mode, so lots of things went undone. Now, I feel pretty much normal. Still more tired than usual, but all the sickness is gone. I'm at that lame stage now where I'm in between maternity clothes and regular clothes. I look mostly chubby, unless you get me at the right angle in the right shirt etc.

*Are you going to find out what it is?
Oh yeah. We can't wait. We're kind of hoping for a boy. Miles says, "I need a buddy!" But honestly, we're happy with either gender. This pregnancy feels really similar to Lindy's, and at my first appointment my midwife guessed it's a girl because of the fast heartbeat. ???

*Other Notables
That first trimester my cravings were intense for salt and vinegar. Chips, pickles you name it. The more salt and vinegar the better. And I didn't want to eat chocolate! Crazy. I had very vivid dreams. I was super forgetful, especially when trying to think of everyday words.
The kids are beyond excited. They pray for the baby all the time and ask questions about it frequently. It's fun.

There you have it. I'm plenty nervous to have 4 children. However, at this point I'm not as nervous as I was when I was pregnant with Gwen or Lindy. So far, it's true what everyone has told me. That after three kids, you're kind of like, "Well, I'm already overwhelmed, why not throw another kids in the mix?" Although I imagine that once that due date looms closer, I'm going to start freaking out a little more. :) Ready or not!

Patience, Flexibility and Consistency

The whole "home school thing" has caused me a great deal of thought and prayer lately. It seems like when you finally feel like you've hit the right groove, something else needs to be tweaked. The past month or so was one of our hardest so far. It just so happened that a gal whose husband also teaches seminary, was interested in home schooling some of her younger kids. We live really close to each other, and so we'd run into each other every once in a while at the library or grocery store. Everytime we saw each other, she'd say, "I'm still thinking about home schooling. I just don't know if I can do it!" Well, I saw her at the library the other day and she was visibly relieved to see me. She said, "I've been hoping we'd run into each other for months now! I've decided to homeschool our 5 year old next year and I need advice." I felt intimidated that someone would need MY advice, who is so obviously a novice at this whole thing. It also caused me great reflection because she caught me on such a hard week. Instead of being encouraging, I really wanted to tell her, "THIS IS SO HARD!!!!" Regardless, this is the email I sent her.



"Hi Hilary!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you about homeschooling. I swear I didn't forget, I just wanted to make sure I gave this email plenty of thought and I needed uninterrupted time to do so.

Ok, so I'm not sure what specific advice you're looking for, so I'll just write and hope something good and helpful comes out.


We decided to homeschool ultimately because I realized that no matter how good a teacher my kids would get, they would never love my kids like I do. They aren't able to invest the time I would be able to. Plus Heavenly Father just kept pushing me in that direction until I couldn't oppose the idea any more. I LOVE homeschooling. I can't imagine doing it any other way. That being said, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. It takes so much patience and consistency. So I pray a lot and read a lot. Which I'm sure you've already been doing. 😊 Some of my favorite pros about homeschooling are: No one tells you what time you have to get up in the morning, or what to study, or how to schedule your time. You and your kids get to choose what's best for everyone, not the school district! I love when a light bulb moment happens, and I'm the ones that gets to see it. I love that I get to incorporate the Spirit and the gospel into school. I love that I get to work at paces that are comfortable for my children and not pushing them along just to take a test. I love being with my kids all day (most of the time) and not having someone else spend the majority of the day with them.


A typical homschool day for us, might look like this:


8 am breakfast and morning devotional (this includes the pledge, a prayer, and some sort of learning song or patriotic song)
chores, getting ready etc.


9:30am The kids watch a learning show while I go take a shower and get ready. (The library has an awesome selection of non-fiction type movies for kids. I try and find ones that correlate with what we're learning)


10am start "official" school. Sometimes this means we read all sorts of books on the couch for thirty minutes, sometimes it means we jump right into math and reading. Sometimes we do school downstairs in our school room, sometimes they work at the kitchen table while I make bread or iron or something else that needs to get done. We always start with a prayer. Then I let the kids choose what they'd like to work on first. I help Gwen and Miles separately for about 1.5 hours.


11:30 ish we usually break for lunch and I read from "The Friend".


12ish We get to the other subject we didn't cover. (Either math or reading)


1:30 Quiet time. 😊 Our almost 2 year old naps, and I make our older two...be away from me. Let's face it. No matter how much I love being with my kids all day, we all need a break. Usually that means they are in their rooms or downstairs and they are in charge of keeping themselves busy.


3:30 This time is kind of up in the air. This is where I try to get to either History or Science. (which at the point is very casual around here) Or maybe we read more books on the couch together. Maybe Miles practices piano. Maybe they are outside playing. Usually at some point around this time, they get to play a little bit of computer learning games on sites like abcya.com or starfall.com etc.


6ish Dinner.


6:30 baths, playing video games or watching a movie, or running an errand.


8pm Bedtime!!!! Dad usually reads them a chapter book for a little while.


That's a fairly ideal day. It doesn't always play out like that. For instance, on Tuesdays we meet with our homeschool group. We are studying history together this year, so we rotate houses and discuss what we read and do fun activities. This takes up the entire morning. So on Tuesdays, we usually don't do any math or reading. I'll try and invite friends to come over to play during quiet time sometimes to help with the ever important social interaction for my "poor deprived homeschool recluses". Anyway, maybe that was helpful, maybe not. Ha! You will have to figure out what works for you. Another favorite thing about homeschooling is that we spend maybe 3 hours a day in dedicated school time, and the rest is open! No going to school all day, and then still having hours of homework!


As far as resources go, my favorite books have been "The Well Trained Mind" and "Phases of Leadership Education" The well trained mind basically maps out how a classical education should look from birth to college, complete with recommended resources for everything. Most of the curriculum we use comes from what was recommended in that book. Sounds like you may not be picking out individual resources and that this program will already have it laid out for you! So you may not be interested in reading that one. ? There is also a site called "Latter Day Learning". It's curriculum from the private school down in....American Fork? Now I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, I've been hearing amazing things about their curriculum. I might be looking into it.


If you think of any specific questions for me, I'll do my best to give a helpful answer! Good luck!!

-Rachel Garner"


It blows my mind that 2-3 years ago, I was the one begging people for advice and now people actually want to know what works for me and my family. Especially when I feel so inadequate. I copy and pasted that email here, and am writing the following, simply as a record of what some ups and downs have been. I know it's a lot words. It's just easier for me to type them here than write them by hand in a journal.

Ok so- a few weeks ago I had a couple of dreams where I would leave the kids at home and not think anything of it. Then I would bolt upright in bed and feel guilty the entire next day for something I didn't even do. One dream was particularly bad. For some reason, Miles and Lindy were at a sitters, but I was going to leave Gwen alone. I told her that if she got scared, she should just knock on a neighbor's door and they would probably let her in. She was hysterical. Richie came home, and I said, "Oh look! You won't have to be alone anymore!" She was so relieved until Richie told her that he was just stopping in to get some food, and was then heading back out. We left her at the door crying and waving. She had been holding Richie's hand begging him not to leave her. He said, "Gwen, you're placing unrealistic expectations on me. If you keep crying, I won't be able to go to this meeting. You don't want that do you?" So replied no, and bawled uncontrollably as we drove out of sight.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!

I was an emotional wreck the entire next day. I'm usually not such a crier, but man, the whole next day I was holding back tears. I don't know if some of my stress somehow transferred to Miles, but he was the most emotional I had ever seen him. Not in a tantrum way, but in a depressed way. It was heartbreaking and so bizarre. School was awful that day. Miles insisted that he hated school over and over again. It's hard not to take that personally. If your kid is in public school and complains of hating it, you have other places to put the blame; with his teachers, with his peers, etc. Not in this case. If my kids hate school, it's got to come back to something I'm doing wrong. I'm supposed to develop a love of learning in my kids, not squelch it! And it's hard not to take it personally when I'm trying SO hard to make school a good thing. It's my life! We didn't get to hardly any school work that day because I was fighting bad attitudes, both the kids and my own.

That night, Richie and I went to the temple. When we picked them from G&G Garners later that night. Miles was so upset he had to leave. It triggered a power struggle between him and Richie, and Miles ended up in tears. So many tears!! All of his emotions from the day just boiled over and he snapped. When we got home, it took Miles almost 2 hours to fully calm down. I talked with him for a while, Richie laid in bed with him and talked to him for a long time too. When I got home from the gym, we swapped notes. Miles had kept saying awful things like, "I'm dumb" and "Everything is my fault" Things you never want to hear your kid say. Richie and I talked, and cried, and prayed, and brainstormed.

Since then we've made a few changes, and it's made a huge difference. Simply putting lunch in between math and reading, instead of a small break, totally life changing. I've also been having Miles and Gwen do their own separate math and reading. Gwen was keeping up doing 1st grade work just fine, but I noticed a lot of stress coming from her. I took the "unrealistic expectation" line from my dream to heart, and now she is happily doing pre-k work. It's totally below what she is capable of, but she seems to enjoy school more and Miles likes being able to go as fast as he can and not wait for Gwen to catch up.

This Home Schooling thing takes SO much patience, flexibility and consistency. SO much. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to do it and how it is changing me, hopefully for the better. Hopefully my kids as well. I'm totally converted to homeschooling, but that doesn't mean that some days I don't wish it was different. Just for a day or two. :)

The Rest of February

A fun picture of Miles and Lindy. :) Miles wanted to share a valentine treat he got in his dance class with Lindy, and insisted it be done in the style of "Lady and the Tramp".



Gwen and Miles were downstairs for quiet time, and suddenly I hear Gwen screaming. Long story short, she had rocked back on a chair, fell, and hit the back of her head on our space heater. I tried my best to remain calm and do what I thought would be best. After putting Gwen in the tub and cleaning it out as best as I felt comfortable doing, I called Sister Costanza from our ward who is a nurse and asked her to come check it out. After I had bandaged Gwen's head and had her resting, Sis. Costanza came to inspect. She said it didn't look too bad and Gwen seemed fine. Whew! The rest of the day we was out running around, bandage free, and seemed just fine. Later that night, Richie gave her a bath and said that the gash looked worse than I described it. Sure enough, it looked way worse now that we had cleaned it up more. Again, Sis. C came over and advised us to go get staples. It was a relatively easy process and Gwen was so brave. Maybe because Sis. C promised to bring Gwen her favorite candy if she was super brave. :) She felt so special to get not one, but 2 whole packs of "emma-ems".
Yesterday, Sis. C came over and took the staples out herself. Yay! I am so grateful to this kind woman for sharing her time and expertise with us. It was a huge burden lifted. My favorite things about this whole ordeal was how brave Gwen has been and how concerned Miles has been for his sister. When Sis. C was about to pull the staples out, I see from the corner of my eye, Miles drop to his knees in the living room mouthing a prayer. Parenting wins!



Sight words in glitter was a huge hit. :) Also pictured, putting together a human body puzzle. We've moved on from animals and insects, to the human body for Science.


Last Saturday, it seemed we were working all day. It was all good work, but we felt the kids needed a special reward for staying focused. Miles and Gwen even went and washed windows with Richie for 3 hours straight, and were actually helpful! So after dinner, we headed to the South Jordan pool. Miles and Gwen were in heaven. Lindy was mostly terrified. :)


In school, we've also been studying the different continents. We wrapped up our Europe study on the 29th and had our friends the Beckstroms over to feast with us. We had bread and chicken from France, Grape Juice from Italy, German mashed potatoes, a citrus salad from Spain, and an oatmeal cake from England. The kids watched Ratatouille and played endlessly while us parents talked endlessly. :)