I read the books/articles/blogs. I debated/hesitated/got cold feet. As a first timer here, I don't think I've come up against a more daunting task, in my humble, inexperienced opinion. But what it came down to is that I'm tired of paying for 2 sets of diapers each month. Even more than that, I'm sick of changing big boy poopy diapers. So last week, I put all my reservations aside, pumped myself up, and got ready for operation potty train. Right about here, you should imagine me pulling surgical gloves on my hands. *snap!
We went shopping and got Miles a Lightning McQueen potty seat in case he preferred that to his little potty chair. We bought special treats, and he is definitely his mamma's boy. He chose the most expensive ones. We also got a bajillion pairs of big boy underwear. All while shopping I kept talking about how much fun it was going to be to be a big boy and go potty on the big boy potty. I was 99% sure everything I was saying was going in one ear and out the other, but I kept going.
Here's where the story gets really interesting. If you have a weak stomach, you probably shouldn't read on. I wake Miles up the next day and find his sheets completely covered in puke! Dried on puke all over the pillow case, his hair, sheets etc etc etc. I'm a little surprised since he's just as happy as ever. Puke? No big deal, clean it up, on our way.
After breakfast I announce "it's time to go potty!! WAHOO!!" And we run to the bathroom. He seems to like it. He seems to especially like the treat afterward. After we put Gwen down for her first nap we put Miles in a swim diaper and head out front to our luxurious swimming pool. I'll post pictures later, but it's really a food storage Tupperware from under our bed that I fill up with water. He totally loves it. About 30 minutes later I notice the water is a funny color... I become more suspicious when Miles asks to go inside after such a short time. I proceed to take the swim diaper off and am attacked by...are you ready? Poo!!! I'll spare you the details, but it was gross. We get him cleaned up, get the front porch cleaned off, get the Tupperware cleaned out and go inside. A little while later Gwen wakes up and we have a snack. Miles leaves the table abruptly and goes into the living room. 5 minutes later he comes in the kitchen and announces, "POOPY!". I say, "Good job Miles for telling me you have to go to the bathroom! Hooray! Let's go!!" We head off to the bathroom and I pull down his shorts to reveal....are you ready?? Poo again!! Astonished, I set him on the toilet while he cries. I clean up the bathroom floor and head to the kitchen for reinforcements and notice a strange trail leading into the living room. Sure enough, it's a poop trail. A poop trail for crying out loud!!! I grab the cleaners and start scrubbing, meanwhile Miles is still crying on the potty and Gwen is crying in the kitchen. Where is Seth Myers, cause I'm thinking "Really???"
Let me spare you any more gruesome details, but just so we're clear, Miles caught some bug and his bum looks like a cranberry field or something, all red and ouchy. Besides the two episodes stated above, I changed, what felt like, a million more poopy diapers and washed a bunch of shorts.
The throw up should have tipped me off. Rookie mistake.
