Today I...

5:30am Wake up to a crying Benson. He doesn't normally wake up this early. I think he's teething. Stumble out of bed, grab him, nurse him in my bed and desperately try to catch a few more minutes of sleep until the others wake up.

7:00am officially start the morning routine. Lately this includes me hiding in the bathroom with the ipad for a few minutes first thing. That way I can check facebook etc without the kids seeing me on a screen all the time, and I get to delay the inevitable. Groceries are low...luckily there is still some pancake mix. Whip those up. The kids each get 1 chocolate chip one and they are delighted. Help brush teeth, hair, change clothes, tidy up bedrooms, etc. The kids spend some time reading, thanks to the awesome summer bingo chart I came up with. Score!!

9:00am Send the kids out to take care of the bunnies. Benson comes to the garden with me and lays on a blanket while I let the chickens out. We're trying to have them graze in a specific area, and they're being stubborn this morning so I become increasingly angry until I've wrangled all the chickens to where they need to be. I even weed a few rows in between. The garden is still in the shade and my back hasn't been hurting as much since my first trip to the chiropractor last week. All-in-all, a nice bit to my morning.

10:00am Lay Benson down for his first nap. The last few weeks with this kid have been a little tough. He's been switching up his nap schedule and I'm just winging it really. Although I think I finally have it figured out. He loves playing peek-a-boo with the blanket when I lay him down. He thinks it's hilarious! Kids turn on a learning show, and I go get ready. About 20 minutes later, Gwen comes in the bathroom and asks if Aimsley can come over to play (we got new neighbors! Yay!) I say sure, and when I come out of the bathroom there are 3 more kids in the house!

11:30am The kids have all been playing really well together, so we forego our trip to the library. Instead, Colston and Miles are playing "tennis" in the front yard, which turned into a sword/gun fight...obviously. Gwen,Lindy and the 2 neighbor girls did makeovers first and are now quite involved with a game of "house", which included fake names, 1 pretend birthday, 1 pretend wedding, and 1 real hit.

12:00pm Kick the neighbor kids out so we can run a few errands. We drop off a bunch of plastic bags to recycle, then go to another recycling place to drop off a box full of glass, then to Grandma Garner's house to cut some rhubarb I need for some pies.

2:00pm FINALLY have lunch! Whew! Miles and Gwen decide to have quiet time in the backyard. I try to get Lindy to lay down in Mom and Dad's bed. I set Benson in front of a baby Einstein episode. He's watched enough of them now that when that caterpillar comes on the screen he gets really excited. :) I sneak up to the computer to finish my lunch and check facebook. I think I might be able to watch part of something on Netflix, but...of course that's just me dreaming. Instead, Lindy comes out twice. 1 of the times I realize she's found the expensive, organic baby bug spray and dumped it all over the carpet in the living room. I probably got a little too mad at her for that.

3:00pm Put Benson down for 2nd nap. Luckily he takes it! I think I may just get 5 uninterrupted minutes to myself! What a joke, right? Instead Lindy keeps coming out, so I give up and let her play outside. But it's like a law of nature or something that if kids are outside, they will try and come inside as much as possible, just to keep that door opening and shutting. Sometimes opening and not shutting...And at some point, the 2 neighbor girls made their way over here again...So there are 5 kids, and 2 doors (1 front and 1 back)....so that means the doors open and shut...hmmm let me check my calculations here... 1 million times. I can feel the hot lava of anger rising, and seething right below the surface...but I'm trying to keep it in check until....

4:25pm I realize Richie's not home yet and I have a follow up chiropractor's visit at 430! Yikes! I've already rescheduled this one. I can't miss it! Richie makes it home by 4:30, and we barely exchange glances as I rush past him (tag, you're it!) and get in the van.

5:30pm Come home, nurse Benson again and have to send the neighbor kids away again. Miles hits another one of those growing up milestones and says, "How come all of my friends have Pokemon cards, and I don't have any???" As if we've been torturing him his entire 8 years by withholding them. "I had no idea you liked Pokemon cards bud." I say. And we chat some more about that illusion that will inevitably pop up over and over again in his life, that everyone else has something he doesn't. Doh! I realize that I'm hungry and I'm the one that has to make dinner! I swear, when I'm a millionaire, I'm hiring a cook. I rush to scramble some eggs and toast some bread. My go-to quick meal these days. I also chop up 10 stalks of rhubarb at lightning speed, thinking maybe I can get the pies in the oven before heading to pack meeting.

6:45pm Missed getting the pies in the oven. Neighbor kids try to come over again, but I have to reject them. Head to pack meeting and bring one of our rabbits for an animal show and tell. Get home by 8. First on the checklist is getting an inconsolable Lindy, a band-aid for a scrape she got playing tag at the church. Richie works with Benson, trying to convince him it's time to sleep...but to no avail. So that means after I help get all the kids in bed, (meaning: nag Gwen over and over again to get going cause she's always super slow at getting ready for bed, half-heartedly read scriptures with the kids, sing the shortest primary song I know- cause I'm done) I take Benson and feed him prematurely, just hoping that it will get him to sleep.

8:30pm I am a woman on a mission. I want to give my Dad a rhubarb pie for Father's day. (His Mom's recipe, one of his favs) And someone I know is willing to drop it off to him tomorrow at Cove Fort. I told her I'd get her my Dad's pie, and a pie for her to say thanks, to her house by 8. Yep, haven't even put them in the oven yet. Within 5 minutes, Lindy and Gwen have come out multiple times, and I feel like my brain cells are exploding. Saying, "I'm going crazy!" in no longer a euphemism for "It's been a long day", I feel like it's a very literal representation of how I feel most days. I burst and say (with gusto), "I can't do this!!" and Richie calmly asks, "Can't do what?" Under my breath, I confess..."Motherhood", and I keep rolling out the pie crusts as if they're being punished.

9:30pm Sometime within the last hour, 1. Lindy and Gwen have officially broken the world record for "coming out of your room after being put in bed!" 2. I deliver the really beautiful, scrumptious smelling pies to my friend. Then I'm sad when I come back home and the house smells like pie...and there is none for me to eat. 3. Feed Bensons AGAIN because I don't know why he's not sleeping, and that's all my brain will tell me to do.

10:30 pm, Richie and I actually talk for a little bit. We actually watch part of a show. But that's enough time together for one day, let's not go crazy (ha!) so he heads to bed, so he can be up by 430 tomorrow morning. We talk about the woes of money (a recurring theme) and mourn the loss that is our bank account this week. The truck needed another $1,200 to pass safety and emissions. There goes our hopes of putting sod on the west side of the backyard, eh?

1:06 am Somehow the last 3 hours disappeared. I can't recall the order of things, but I do know that Gwen wet the bed again. Here's another parental law: You can wait for years to change the sheets on a top bunk bed if you really wanted. But mark my words, the night you decide to put new sheets on the bed...your kid will pee in them. She's been really struggling with that lately. Just when I think we're over that hump, it's like she's decided to mark her territory all over the house. I'm not kidding! Within the last month, I've cleaned sheets from her bed, and Lindy's, their room's floor, our room's floor, the hallway's floor, and the couch! Within the last 3 hours, I've also cuddled a startled Lindy, Got Gwen re-setlled AGAIN because she nearly peed AGAIN on our floor in our room, and walked the living room "track" with Benson again trying in vain to help him sleep. I finally gave in and gave him some tylenol because I think I can see a tooth making it's way down. It seemed to help because now he's sleeping. Although, by typing that I've probably jinxed it. And no, I still haven't ordered groceries...which was my main goal for tonight after I got the pies done. Looks like I'll be playing, "Chopped" in our kitchen again tomorrow. "Hmmm...we've got an onion, some mustard, a brownie mix and the baking soda in the back of the fridge....Breakfast needs to me made in 20 minutes...your time starts now"

Super honesty time here... At some point while I was walking with Benson, I was sobbing. Life must really stink when you make dumb choices. Because here I am, thinking I've made some pretty good ones...and it's still ridiculously hard! Despite how blessed I am! This post may be a bit of a downer...but some days are just like that. I am imagining in 20 years, my kids/kids-in-law will be reading this blog book, come to this post, and maybe breathe a sigh of relief. I hope that they mostly erase from their memory any of my less than stellar moments. (Like I did with my mom! I literally, do not remember her yelling at me once!) And I hope they mostly remember the good stuff. However, I don't want them to take it as, "Wow, Mom was perfect. Life must have been easier for Mom and Dad back then. etc etc" Maybe they will be a tired young parent, and come to this post and think, "Ok, Mom and Dad made it through ok. I will too!" Julie B. Beck said, "Families mean work. But they are our great work. And we are not afraid of work." I love that quote. I am not afraid of work...but I might drag my feet a little tomorrow...

The time I turned 31

Richie took me out to the farm with him on our date :) We fed the chickens and talked and talked with Shane and his wife about farm stuff. :) Lots of doors of opportunity at the farm are opening and it was nice to chat with them. Then we went to Cubby's to get some dinner. Richie made fun of me for taking a picture of the yummy food. I told him I wasn't about to take a selfie with it, or ask a stranger to take one of us, so this was my way of documenting the fact that we went out on a real live date for my birthday. :)

The next day, I woke up with Benson in bed, and no one else in the house! I texted Richie to make sure he had the kids, which he did. :) For my birthday he took the 3 oldest to work with him all morning! So Benson and I got some real quality time together and I had much more time to get things done. Awesome birthday present!!

Later that Day I made a rhubarb pie (my grandma Crosby's recipe) and we ate pie and ice cream for dessert following some papa murphey's pizza, so I didn't have to make dinner! Score! The kid's wanted to watch a show with me for my birthday, and they even picked, "The Great British Baking Show" since they know I like it. :) I love bonding over that show with them.

That Saturday, Mom Garner, Makenna and Cora even took me shoe shopping- because, let's face it, all of my shoes are hashed. I was really spoiled this year. So many people are so good to me. Our peonies even bloomed just for me. :)

Everyday happenings in the rest of May

Gwen's last dance recital of the year! She did so great!! It was such a joy to watch her dance. She lights that stage up! Her teacher even told us that although she wouldn't be teaching next year because of her commute, she would love to choreograph, teach and pay for Gwen to start doing competitions. She thinks really highly of Gwen, which, as a parent- flatters me. Gwen was completely ecstatic that she "finally got a gold medal!!"


First Harvests! It's starting!! Yay!!


Gwen saw me feeding Benson in bed one morning, told me to wait here and that she would take care of breakfast! She got the cereal and bowls out for everyone, but then brought me mine on a tray-complete with a note, my smoothie, and a homemade pipe-cleaner bracelet! My Gwen is such a sweetheart.


Dad and the kids finished reading "The Jungle Book" and many other of Rudyard Kiplings other "just-so stories". So to party, the kids helped me make fruit salad, a guava drink, and we had fun checking out this papaya- although the kids wouldn't eat it. Ha! Then we watched the Jungle Book (the one with real people) on Netflix.


Miles's sidewalk art was on point the other day. :) He came up with some really cool designs.


We had our last official homeschool group day for the year. The kids were really sad about it, until I told them we'll still probably play a lot with our friends this summer. We played a review game at the park, ate lunch, then let the kids play and play and play. It's such a cool unique park down in Lehi! We'll have to go back soon.


Richie showing off some of his hand-made, straight from the cow, butter! It was super yummy.


Lindy Selfies. How does she know about "duck face" already?


To motivate Miles to finish his math curriculum for the year, I made a paper chain and hung it outside his door. Everytime he finished a lesson, he got to rip one off. Here are the last 4! We crammed in the last 4 lessons so he could be done by "kid's day". Let me brag on him a little here. Last year, we didn't quite finish his first grade curriculum. (mostly my fault!) So at the beginning of 2nd grade this year, we were already playing catch up. I gave him the option to hustle and finish, work through the summer, or play catch up again when he started 3rd grade in the fall. He stayed very motivated to finish this year, and I'm very proud of all his hard work!!

More May

Took pictures of the kids one Sunday cause they looked so darn cute. Miles came up with his post all on his own. Lindy also chose her own facial expressions. :) :) :)


It's so fun watching Miles and Gwen take on some small, but active, rolls in teaching Lindy during school time! This picture is Gwen saying, "Lindy, can you find the /m/ sound?" and when Lindy finds the "M" on the white board, she erases it. On and on it goes until the board it clean.


Richie came home from the farm one day like this, In fact, he comes most home most days looking like this. :) It reminded me of the descriptions my Mom gave me of her Dad, Grandpa Hinckley. Always out in overalls and an old white church shirt. (They are the best sunscreen and you don't get too hot). But apparently, his overalls were striped. The overalls Richie is wearing are actually my Grandpa Crosby's! Which is hard to believe considering the size difference between the two of them. :) But Richie "inherited" them after my Grandpa Crosby passed away and they have served him well.



The cutest little weeding buddy a gal could ask for!



My nephew Tucker and his fiance Belen were married in St. George! It was so nice to have such a wonderful excuse to get ourselves down to SG, even if it was a quick trip. They were sealed in the same sealing room as Richie and I, and had their reception in the same place, so it was kind of fun to relive that. :) They make a really fantastic couple, we're so happy for them. The kids were so excited to play with cousins, and so devastated that the trip was so short.


On our way back home Sunday, we stopped at Cove Fort to see my parents! It was so fun to see their missionary digs and meet their missionary buddies. We got to have dinner together for Mother's day. :)



Since January, part of Miles's schooling has included some reading tutoring with my cousin Janiel! She was a first grade teacher for a long time and had a great gift to teach kids how to read. I was getting a little concerned with Miles's reading skills halfway through the year, and brought up the idea to her. She came every Monday and worked with Miles, gave us books and materials to use, and really motivated him in such a kind way to learn to read better. I'm still waiting for that magic moment when the flip switches and he will LOVE to read....I'm so sure that if that flip switches, he will be 10 times more motivated to improve his skills. But for now, it's mostly still a chore to him. He's a pretty competent reader now...now if I could just get him to love it...


Got to see Ross and Amanda on their way back from a quick trip down from Logan! Even if it's quick, it's always fun to visit for a minute!

First week in May

The weather was so nice outside that first week, that we tried to do some of our school outside. It just seemed wrong to be inside! So, as part of our sight word practice, I wrote the sight words on individual hopscotch squares. Then wherever their hoppytaw landed, that was the word they had to say.


Miles earned his first rank advancement in scouts. He got his Bobcat and a few belt loops. Man, he was BEAMING! He felt so proud. I'm incredibly grateful for good scout leaders because I didn't have much to do with him earning any of it!


For a while now, the kids, outside our home, job has been to roll in empty garbage cans for our neighbors for 25 cents per house. After doing that for a while, they added collecting aluminum cans to recycle for money- just from the people on our street. Then they got serious about this idea to build a tree house in our huge globe willow in the backyard. We've wanted to ever since we moved in, I mean the tree is practically begging for a house to be put in it. But it's always been an "unnecessary, extra" expense that we could never bring ourselves to give up. So when the kids asked about it this time, we said we'd build it, if they could earn the money themselves. (Thinking they probably wouldn't get there.) Well, wouldn't you know it? They already have over $250 saved up. All their birthday money, chore money and job money has gone into that jar. They expanded their aluminum can collecting route, and now we take a van load about every 2 weeks and get about $10, plus enough for the kids to buy a soda of their own.


Tanner got his mission call!! Columbus, Ohio!!!!!


This picture just makes me wanna go snuggle up next to him!!


We finally got around to going to see the tulip festival this year, thanks to our pass! It was gorgeous and hot! The kids loved everything about it! Richie and I loved most of it. :) Let's face it, kids can really complicate things. The only time they have to go potty is of course not when you were near the bathrooms and you asked them...it's when you're on the opposite side of the festival. And Lindy is at that age where she's too big for a stroller, but to little to walk for long distances, so we did a lot of shoulder carrying. Unfortunately, we weren't expecting it to be so hot and she was wearing rather warm clothes. She was pretty dehydrated the rest of the day. It got a little scary. She refused to eat the pizza we went out for after the festival, was having trouble cooling down even after more water and baths, her personality was slightly off-including being oddly decisive (?) and then threw up twice throughout the night. I was so happy that she was back to her normal self the next day.


After that incident, I went downstairs and pulled out summer clothes. Miles didn't have any hand-me-downs for this upcoming summer. (We've been so spoiled with clothes for the kids. I rarely have to shop for them!) So Miles and I took off on a quick date to Kid-2-Kid and found 4 new outfits, plus some suspenders and a bow tie I just couldn't pass up. He was so excited about his new outfits and very particular about them.


Then later that night, I took Gwen on a date. She had another meltdown session earlier that week, and was really hard on herself. I'm not sure how to help her through those hard moments. Those really hard parenting moments, when your kid's breaking down and beating themselves up, are not my favorite. I figured some one-on-one time couldn't hurt. I had a coupon for a cupcake at the bakery in Gardener Village, and it just so happens they were having a fairy garden festival Perfect! It was really magical. Gwen was light and happy. We strolled through a linen shop and ooohed and ahhhed over all the soft pillows and blankets. I saw this quote there and liked it enough to take a picture. :) It was hard to pull ourselves away from the beautiful weather, sweets, and magical atmosphere.